Last Week's Buzzwords

Headlock Kid.
Starting back to school in my class tomorrow.  This is his third school move in six months.  No wonder this kid's got problems.  I'm praying that I can be useful in this kid's life--and possibly his mom's.  Anyone who uproots their family every two months surely needs some outside help and support.

Rocko!  Brocko!  Rock.

Who is the President of the United States?  Well, that's up for debate in 3rd grade.  Granted, this was from last year, but after last week's elections, I felt it was appropriate to post after finding them today on my camera.  If you're wondering, the next question was "How many states are in the United States?"

Mm-Hmm... looks like I have my work cut out for me...

Restraints and kitten punches.
Had to restrain a kid this week.  That doesn't bother me too much.  She was just having a really bad day and has diagnosed behavior disorders, but it was the first time I've done that this year.  All I was really thinking was Wow, this girl has cat-like responses to things.  No... wait a minute.  This girl isn't strong enough to be a cat.  This girl has kitten-like responses to things.  Softest punches I've ever taken!  All in all, not too bad.

And, last but not least...

Testicles!
Shouted out during a lively game of Mad Libs the last 10 minutes of the day last Wednesday.  The boy who shouted it out had
NO.
IDEA.
what it meant.

HA!  Luckily I de-escalated the situation like a Super Teacher.
Like a Rocks the Denim Jumper kind of teacher.
Like a Talk in a Soft Voice Very Patiently kind of teacher.
Like a Listen Up Boys and Girls kind of teacher.

And, he now knows what testicles are.  So maybe I just rocked it like a Teacher Who Gives Anatomy Lessons on the Sidewalk as Your Bus is Pulling Up kind of teacher.

So that was my week.  But enough about me.  How are YOU?

My first NIECE!

Nieces are nice, I'm learning.

My first niece was born 3 days ago!  My how they grow up so fast!  It seems as if it was only yesterday that I was learning about her birth.  I haven't been able to meet her in person yet, but we have a Skype date arranged for this weekend.  Her name is Ellie Kay.  I love it.  I think she loves it too.  It makes me so happy for Zach and Anne that they get the responsibility of raising this little girl to know and love God and to change the world.  I have a feeling the upcoming holidays are going to be much different this year!  We'll probably be all laying on the floor documenting her every move.  Well, I will be anyway.

One thing that makes me sad is that I don't get to see Marva Kay indulge her role as a grandmother.  It makes me sad that I won't get to see her face light up the first time she holds her baby granddaughter and to miss hearing her speak in her always-kind soft voice.  I miss her so much but I'm completely convinced that she has indeed seen this little child, even before Zach and Anne did.  I know this little girl will know who her grandma is.  We won't even have to inflate the stories because they are all good about Marva.  She will come off sounding like the perfect mother, because indeed she was.  I'm excited to tell those stories, but my heart breaks even more thinking about having only stories and pictures to show and tell instead of having Marva there herself.

I think in a couple weeks, we'll get to meet Ellie.  I'm so excited!  Clothes shopping for little girls is the MOST FUN!  This girl will be spoiled by this auntie for sure!  So, welcome to the world, Ellie Kay Owen!  Travis and Mary-Jane love you bunches!

Breakfast Aisles at the Grocery Store

Yesterday I had to hit the grocery store in the morning before school so that I could get treats for a kid to pass out since it was his last day.  Ironically, it was Headlock Kid, for those of you that read my facebook posts.  Anyway, I was sad thinking about how much I was going to miss this kid, and how sad it is that some kids live such transient lives.

Then it hit me.

I turned down the cereal aisle and all my thoughts came to a screeching halt as they arrived at only one thought, It smells good here.  I need food.  Never had I realized how the blending of coffee, hot chocolate, cereal bars, cereal cereal, and granola everything could twist and swirl together into this amazing cloud of yummy smelliness.

It was intense.

It was delicious.

It was effective.

I definitely plunked down my quarters and dimes and dollars so that I might recreate a snippet of the best smelling (and of course the brightest colored) items in that aisle.  Oh, and I got HK some treats to pass out too.

Yesterday's High: Breakfast Aisle
Yesterday's Low: Goodbye, Headlock Kid.

It doesn't taste good and it's not brightly colored.

Yeah, I was gone for a while.  I didn't think you'd miss me and you didn't.  The world kept turning.  I'm not insulted.  I'm that kind of person too.

Anyway, I wanted to write a post because my old lady brain is already starting to spark and sputter and I feel like within a couple years I'm going to be drawing a pension and I'll have my picture in one of those medical journals for being, quite possibly, the youngest person to ever have such advanced memory loss.  Alzheimer's?  Maybe.  I think it's mostly because I don't like to spend time "reflecting" on my life.  I would rather live in the moment than think about what I've already done.  

And, plus, I'm just a simple-minded dummy.  

I choose the brightly colored objects.  

I gravitate toward food and away from crying children.   

I buy anything endorsed by a cartoon character. 

And I pass through life eating, laughing, learning, loving, hugging, teaching, jumping, crying, and sometimes sleeping.  But reflecting?  Nah.  It doesn't taste good and it's not brightly colored.

Travis brought to my attention an event that we attended last year around this time.  As he was talking about it I thought, Wow, that sounds super fun!  I don't remember that at all.  It scared me that I'd participated in an activity that was fun and quite possibly shaped my life in some tiny way, and I never would have remembered it had my husband not mentioned it.  Okay, honestly, it was about watching a Chiefs game at Buffalo Wild Wings.  It probably didn't actually change my life, but it scared me nonetheless because what if, in a few years, Travis brings up the day we got married and I can't remember anything about it because I didn't reflect on it and spend time thinking about how that day would/will/has shaped my life!?!  I know that's extreme but I also know I'm
just.
               that.
                                simple-minded.  

So, I've been thinking about what to do.  They say to keep your mind fresh you should play "smart people" games.  I play and lose enough of those with the Bearded Guy, so I'll go ahead and say Thanks, I'm set in that area.  Then I thought I'd keep a diary.  Riiiiight.  Go ahead, I'll give you time to get out of the chair and go count how many "journals" you own.  Done counting yet?  Chances are, if you're like me (although for your sake, I hope you're not!) that you've got a few.  I can't keep a journal!  I can't focus enough to completely write a check, let alone record and ruminate upon all the thoughts that swim in and out of my head each day!  Travis said something about how I should "listen more."  Gotcha Travis.  I know that's just a ploy to get me to learn your Chemistry junk.  No way.  I have to listen enough to eight year-olds tell about the "one time Uncle Jake let me ride the, the, the, well, he's not my uncle but he's my cousin, and he let me, I think he's my dad's friend, actually, anyway, he let me, he has a puppy and he let me ride his four wheeler, it's actually a lawn mower, but I really like his puppy!"  Have you ever tried listening to an 8 year-old tell a story?  Try it some time.  Ask 'em how their weekend was.  THEN tell ME I need to LISTEN more!  Ahem.  So, I thought Hey, why not fire up the old blog?  Get 'er runnin' again real smooth.  Apparently I think in a farmer voice.  So, in a never-ending effort of self-improvement, I would like to work on reflecting upon my life by updating my blog.  I've got a pretty great life and a pretty poor memory, so it can't hurt much!

I wrote my first blog idea on my hand this morning so I wouldn't forget it.  Seriously.  Old lady brain.  I wrote "BFAST" on my hand since I wanted to write about something pertaining to breakfast.  Of course, later on in the day, I looked at my hand and wondered what it was I had to "be fast" about.  That's how bad it is, people!  So, hopefully my next post will have the keyword breakfast in it somewhere and it won't be a post about how I need to somehow be fast at something.

If I do write about being fast, someone please come over here and help mama fill out her pension forms.  Quickly.

The Book of Awesome

Recently, I began following a blog called 1000awesomethings.com. I read about it on another blog: cakewrecks.com. I recommend both of these amazing nooks in cyberspace. CakeWrecks will make you giggle your eyeballs out and 1000 Awesome Things will add a few minutes of refreshment to your busy, irritating day. It's like a glass of cold lemonade Dr. Pepper on a hot summer day. I now currently have both the book versions of these blogs. One was a gift to me and one is a gift for someone else.

I think I'm going to start my own list of awesome things. I'm already a pretty positive person but I think it's mentally healthy to find those minute parts of your life that bring you small joys. Generally these are so small that you don't even think about them as being joyful, you just feel better after the tiny instance has happened. So, here goes:

#1 Waking up to sun streaming in your bedroom window

Forget about that dream where you're being chased by werewolves, and lay aside the thoughts about all the things you have to do today because right now there is an explosion of light coming through the windows so intense that you can actually see the sunbeams mixing with the tiny floating pieces of dust hovering over your bed. The walls used to be white but now they appear to be glowing in the luminescence. Sure, there's an oil spill off our coast and Gary Coleman just died yesterday, but right now, all I can think of are God's amazing blessings. Solar power is

AWESOME!

5am to 8am thoughts

5:00 Alarm goes off. Fat chance. Hit snooze.

5:09 Alarm goes off again. I hit snooze but don't go back to sleep. I lay in bed missing Travis and feeling the cool air from the fan propped up in our bedroom's open window. I drift in and out in the new morning light. It's crazy that it's already light out at 5:00. I never knew it got this light out so early. Maybe because I've never gotten up at 5-something on a regular basis before.

5:18 Alarm goes off. Enough messing around. I spring out of bed and flip on the light with satisfaction that 1) I slept well despite Travis being 400 miles away and 2) that Travis isn't still asleep in bed so I have to tiptoe in the dimness to find clothes to wear to the gym.

5:30 Teeth brushed, ponytail in place, gym clothes on (these pants are really too short), and I've inhaled both of the necessary medicines that keep me alive while at the gym--and everywhere else for that matter.

5:36 Get to the gym, leave my purse and keys in the car. Small town. Pay $1.07 to jog on the track at the gym (not renewing my membership until I come back from Canada) and take note of who's here.

The regulars that are present:

Conroy East group, exercising in a room upstairs. They are machines.

The usual teacher group. 3 of them doing various workouts on machines in the weight room.

Mysterious green-shirted man. Always walking. Always wearing a cap. Always wearing the same green shirt. He's there when I get here and he's there when I leave. The few times I've had to work out in the afternoon, he's also been there. He looks like the kind of guy who maybe used to weigh like 400 pounds but lost a whole lot and now doesn't feel comfortable with his body for a new list of reasons. I don't talk to him or make eye contact with him but he watches where I am on the track, especially if I am jogging up behind him. Not in a creepy way. He's interesting and I feel a pang of guilt that I'm shy around him.

Pat. I don't know his real name. He looks just like my neighbor from behind. My neighbor's a woman. He's kinda odd. One time I fell asleep on the exercise mats (long, funny story) and when I woke up, Pat was sitting next to me. He said "Good morning" I think.

JoAnne and another OLIA (Old Lady I Admire). They aren't here yet, but they will be here at 6 on the dot. I don't know how old these old ladies are but they walk every morning and they are so nice. I feel convicted to turn down the Black Eyed Peas blaring out of my iPod when I jog by them.

These regulars not present:

Pat (real name) and Rich. My husband's racquetball buddies. They aren't here and neither is my husband. Wave of loneliness washes over me, but I recover.

I go upstairs and stretch and laugh to myself about how freakishly short these blue athletic pants actually are. Too long to be called capris but way too short to be pants. Oh well, I don't think anyone here cares.

5:40 I'm on the track and jogging. 4 minutes jogging. 4 minutes walking. 4 minutes jogging. 4 minutes walking. The best part of this "hamster wheel" indoor track is on the southern end, smack in the middle of the curved part, in the outermost lane, is the best place to get blasted with cold air conditioning. I pretend the cold air is my "battery power energizer." It reminds me of the video game F-Zero when you drive your car over the little bar code-looking section of the track and it boosts your energy. 4 minutes jogging. OLIAs show up. 4 minutes walking. I'm tired. I don't want to do any more. This is my last time for a while to jog, maybe I could ease up and just do those 3 intervals. 4 minutes jogging. 4 minutes walking. Maybe I'll quit and leave it at 32 minutes today. I'm out of breath and my legs hurt. Six weeks I've been doing this. Shouldn't it be easy by now? 4 minutes jogging. 4 minutes walking. Done.

6:20 Quick stretch and towel off. I leave the gym and, for the first time this week, walk outdoors into cool air instead of muggy, sticky, humid air. I'm happy driving home.

6:50 I've showered and dried my hair and had a glass of chocolate milk. Jump into bed for a quick nap. Set the alarm for 7:20.

7:20 I'm awake but feeling good. I pray about the day's events and daydream a bit and then out of bed at 7:30.

7:30 Excited that it's Friday so I can finally wear my new jean capris. Pack a delicious salad for lunch and get breakfast together.

7:40 Curl my hair and pick out my homemade necklace: the one I made out of bottlecaps. I smile because I know the students love this one. Make the bed and wonder if I'd ever miss Travis' disgusting pillow if it were gone from this earth.

7:55 Out the door and ready for school.

So, how was your morning?

Something's wrong here...

(In Wal-Mart, after Travis thought it would be a good idea for me to go WITH him shopping today.)

Travis: Okay, it says here on the list that you need tampons and cotton rounds. Do you want to go get them?

Me: Sure... where are they?

It's pretty bad when your husband has to inspect the box of feminine products that YOU picked out to make sure they're the ones that you use every month. I think I need to go shopping with him a little more often...